flutter

Comic Cast: Jennie Wood

I wish I were clever enough to capture the essence of this interview in a few brief words but sadly I am not. Then again maybe the reason I am unable to capture it is because I’m not meant to. Jennie Wood is a brilliant creator with the type of ambition that a writer should have…..one that can hardly be contained!

Follow Jennie on Twitter @JennieWoodNDid.
Visit her website Jennie Wood.
Follow Tim on Twitter @thinblueghost.
Follow AlternaPodcast on Twitter @alternapodcast.
Download Flutter at Comixology.

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clusterfuck

AlternaPodcast: CLUSTERF@#K

Today marks our first offering of episodic content coinciding with Alterna Comics release schedule. Out today and available digitally is Clusterf@#k issue #3. I got together with creator Jon Parrish to discuss his action/comedy series and find out why things in Haven City are a Clusterf@ck!

Follow Jon on Twitter @jon_h_parrish.
Visit his website Secrets & Shadows.
Follow Tim on Twitter @thinblueghost.
Follow AlternaPodcast on Twitter @alternapodcast.
Download CLUSTERF@#K at Comixology.

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layla

The Morning After Raw for December 8, 2014

“Slammys again”

Last week’s Raw was bad and I didn’t finish the run down because, honestly, I turned Raw off with about an hour to go and never got around to finishing it. I have read about what happened and it turns out I’m the jerk for going to bed because I missed out on a thrilling change up in the ordinary finish to Raw and there was a 6 Man Tag Match to finish Raw. That NEVER happens. Anyway, it’s the ‘Go Home’ episode of Raw so expect some stories falling into place and some table setting for the PPV coming up this Sun-Just kidding, It’s Slammy Night so fuck you for wanting more. Raw is live from South Carolina and tonight will be a chore.

So early into the show we find out that in fact it’s Lawler’s week to run the show(this will only be mentioned in the opening segment and never referenced again) and that Big Show vs John Cena will be the main event. Also I just messaged the editors of the website and told them there is no fucking way I am making it through Raw tonight. Seth Green makes his way to the podium and he is mercifully interrupted by Miz and Sandow, an award for ‘Biggest Insult’ is given away and I assume it will be the whole handling of the CM Punk situation, but in an upset it’s The Rock for calling Lana a slut or something.

Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins

Oh, a great match. I wasn’t ready for this in the middle of such a stupid night full of stupid distractions and unnecessary time filling segments that go nowhere. Spoke too soon about this being a great match as after a couple minutes J and J security get involved and we have nothing. Glad the Authority are out of power and we go immediately back to dusty finishes. At least when The Authority was here the show had some villains and structure. Now we have Rollins as the biggest Heel and a gigantic hole through the middle of the show. Is there anything more upsetting than Rollins having his matches end by run in? He’s the one heel who is consistently entertaining enough to have his matches ruined is a shame.

Slammy for “This is Awesome Moment”. Sting wins. God who cares. Why are we doing this tonight? Tonight had enough already, we didn’t need to add more to it. Guest host, guest GM, building for a PPV that no one could possibly be sold on to begin with.

Kofi w/ Big E and Xavier vs Stardust w/Goldust

A New Day come out and I can’t believe in 2014 black people can still only be relegated to dancing in the gimmicks in the WWE. Black people aren’t relevant to current society in any way or making the news so why parody life when we can go back to having 3 guys clap dancing and dressed up like X-Men. Kofi wins with an enormous Cross Body off the top rope. Nice move. It’s good to see The New Day not need to just be tag competitors.

John Laurinaitis comes out to present a Slammy and I can’t help but think how much the world would be better if he never existed. They actually teased a Slammy reveal through a commercial break. I wish I had anything better to do with my time than not change the channel. Ultimate Warrior wins the ‘Surprise Return of the Year’. He’s not even here to accept the award. What a fucking prick.

Charlotte vs Natalya

This is awesome. Charlotte to me, though not as strong as a wrestler as Paige, certainly is ten times the actual character than she is. Maybe I’m in the bag for her given who her father is, but this is different, the girl is a star. Her character is thoroughly lived in and I honestly believe in real life she is as annoyingly self impressed as she comes off on tv. This is of course is a rematch from NXT Takeover from May, which could be the last women’s match I wasn’t repulsed by. Chop by Charlotte, taunts Tyson Kidd, I love this. Sharpshooter reversed into a Figure Four reversed into a Small Package 123. Ok, why are you having the Champion lose before an event on Thursday? Why not have her just pin Emma? If you aren’t gonna let her and Natalya go long…whatever, watch Thursday.

Santino Marella presents the award for ‘OMG Shocking Moment of the Year’. He made a couple jokes about watching people shower to absolutely no reaction and I can’t believe I’m sitting through this. I walked off last week’s Raw only to sit through this? Shocking moment of the year was Cesaro joining Team Cena for 45 seconds Shocking me into thinking my life mattered. Surprised Big Show’s heel turn wasn’t a nominee.

Bray Wyatt out for a promo about how beside himself he is over the rocking chair and how he broke Ambrose’s trachea on Smackdown. I guess the whole Ambrose being taken out of the feud for Reigns thing was bullshit(thanks Meltzer) as an ambulance shows up to the arena. Oddly in place of medical equipment and supplies the ambulance is full of smoke machines and back lit flood lights. They fight, this feud will probably be ending at the Rumble where I honestly hope it picks up steam. This feud has been so unconscionably toothless I don’t even know what to say.

Diva of the year award presented by Lawler. We get it Jerry, you’re VERY heterosexual. Paige is nominated for multiple Diva title runs and several good PPV matches despite never really having a feud outside AJ worth mentioning. AJ is nominated for multiple title runs and her recent feud work with Paige and Nikki Bella all the while being the best in ring female performer in the company. Nikki is nominated having improved the most and her recent winning of the Divas title. Brie is nominated for being Nikki’s sister and marrying Daniel Bryan. LOLAJWINS.

Eric Rowan vs Luke Harper

This seems like this should’ve been a PPV match. Guys didn’t even imply that there would be a build up and now we are at a throw away match on Raw? Cesaro and Swagger can’t get involved and make this a tag match? Inane JBL commentary, or as we have come to know it as, commentary. The match never really gets going and the crowd certainly never reacts before Harper starts beating Rowan up with the ladder. Rowan gets revenge with the stairs and here we are. Doing things. Did you know Harry Morgan was arrested in 1996 for domestic violence?

Jimmy Uso and Naomi have a Total Divas outtake backstage and I’m completely disinterested with wrestling right now.

Adam Rose comes out to present the Slammy for LOL Moment. That makes two acronyms already. Anyways Rose is here and I keep waiting for him to have some crazed drug reaction and a reveal that he is in fact the bunny. His slow decent into being a heel has been ok. Certainly miles better than him being a face. Miz and Mizdow are so interesting. I wonder if anyone realizes it backstage that the unconventional nature of Mizdow is what makes the whole thing enjoyable. Nah.

Lana out with Rusev next to call everyone in the audience pussies for being from America. Swagger comes out next and I recently found out that he designed his terrible t-shirt. Makes total sense. Swagger says since Rusev broke Zeb’s leg he’s going to snap Rusev’s ankle. Well that’s aggressive. Swagger puts on the Patriot Act and Rusev is as good at selling as Ziggler.

Kane, Miz and Mizdow vs Ryback and The Usos

Ahhh six man tag. We meet again. Usos bring out their Tag Team of the year trophies. I guess no one told them that only heels do that. Seth Green on commentary, possibly high, either way not trying and massively unenthused. Kane here solely for facial expressions. Seth Green talking about Battle Star Galactica. The Usos deserve better. I swear they do. Seth Green taking selfies, Cole annoyed as he’s trying to fire through a script. Stalling Suplex on Miz. Sandow does a handstand. Ok. Put all the belts on him. Shellshock on Miz 123.

Ricky The Dragon Steamboat out to present match of the year and in doing so he brings the show to a haunt with the most boring mic work of the night. Ziggler obviously wins for Survivor Series and uses this moment to thank his fans for standing by him and I mouth ‘you’re welcome’ back to the TV set.

AJ Lee vs Summer Rae

Oh. Summer Rae. She loses.

RVD out to present the ‘Extreme Moment of the Year’ and I take back everything I said about Steamboat being bad on the mic. Fandango 2.0 accepts the award form Jericho.

Booker T out next to present the second award in a row. WHY IS ANYONE BUYING THIS PPV SUNDAY? Wait what happened to Seth Green? Roman Reigns wins Superstar of the year. Now… I’m an admitted skeptic. But this is pretty incredible. Roman makes mention of ‘a brass ring’ and promises he’s coming for the title. His promo work has improved it seems. Maybe this time off helped. Rather fortuitous for him to have been backstage in this of all times.

John Cena vs The Big Show

Sigh. Moving on.

Cena looks into the camera and says ‘it’s about time I show you what stepping up is all about’. Cena really is sliding into the role Hogan should have and he’s making room for those behind him. Much to the chagrin of the Internet that includes Reigns but it also appears to have Rollins and Ziggler in consideration with Ambrose, Ryback and Wyatt in contention. It’s an interesting time and these next two years will probably be a transition.

Guy in front row with Rock N Roll Express Hall of Fame 2015 sign. Nice try Ricky Morton. Big Show’s tights are camouflaged. I should have a joke for that but suffice to say he sucks. AA 12-Seth Rollins. Oh well. Thank god The Authority isn’t around anymore.

Curb Stomp off ladder? Ziggler breaks it up. WMD on Ziggler. WMD on Cena. Rowan runs down. Beaten up by Show and Harper. This is a mess. Choke Slam onto Stairs. Ryback comes down beats up Harper and Big Show. Kane beats up Ryback. Ziggler beats up Big Show. Harper puts Ziggler through a table. Cena AA’s Harper and Rollins Curb Stomps Cena. Raw has become a parody of itself. Triple Powerbomb through the announce table and this all seems like a joke I’m not in on. What a convoluted pile of shit before what really could be a great PPV.

Tonight’s Haiku
PPV looming
the stage has not yet been set
instead; Slammy’s

Spot of the Night
AA on Big Show

The Good and The Bad
Good
1
the ppv looks like a good card
2 Roman Reigns looks to be pretty decent
3 Ziggler still relevant

Bad
1
Slammy’s
2 Lawler showing he knows how to dress appropriately
3 Big Show vs John Cena

Updated TLC Card

Tables Match for #1 Contender
John Cena vs Seth Rollins

Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt

Tag Team Title Match
Miz and Mizdow vs The Usos

Chair Match
Ryback vs Kane

Stair Match
Big Show vs Eric Rowan

United States Championship Match
Jack Swagger vs Rusev

Dolph Ziggler vs Harper?

star-wars-force-awakens_612x380

Trailer Nihilism: The Force Awakens

    Trailer Nihilism

I am not a big fan of the Star Wars movie franchise, I am not a little fan either. I just didn’t see the movies until I was 24 and by then I was too believing in my own hype to enjoy them at any honest level so I think them all to be shit. Its not that I think the movies are childish, they’re just poorly done and without the aid of nostalgia I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be enjoying. Everything those movies did has been done a million times over and better. I look at those movies like a 15 year old would look at The Matrix now, or Alyssa Milano. You look at them now and there’s nothing special. You catch them on TNT for sporadic channel surfing moments and all you can really do is roll your eyes and move on. I walk into this movie with a passive resignation that I will not care. So what you are about to read is everything you think it will be.I actually saw the second installment of the second set of movies(Attack of the Clones) before I saw any of the others. I know that isn’t the way to enter into any movie franchise. I was already starting off on the wrong foot. This may sound brash but to the non-Star Wars fan, Lucas hasn’t made anything that isn’t embarrassing since American Graffiti, and American Graffiti isn’t a movie anyone is putting in a time capsule. I saw THX 1138 before I saw what I’ve only learned through IMDB is called ‘A New Hope’. I’m only slightly more of a fan of JJ Abrams because of how much I enjoyed Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Mission Impossible 3. Outside of that he can fuck right off. Believing nothing in the mythos and integrity of either person involved in the creation of these movies already puts them in a different light than the average Lost/Star Wars fan, who should be put to death.So I decided to take a cynical look at this new trailer for people who aren’t fan boys who will fawn over anything that happens outside of the hellish reality that is their life of Mountain Dew and action figures. Through pop-culture I am obviously familiar with lots of the Star Wars lexicon(another annoying thing about these movies is how acceptable it is to talk about them years later) so don’t be surprised when I know who Han Solo is or what the name of a space ship is. I am taking it upon myself to be the transcendental signifier as to what is right and wrong in the glorification of movie ideals and I want you all to take this very seriously.

Also if everything can hit light speed then why can’t the rebel alliance just create a fold in the space time continuum and get the Death Star to fly into it and send it to another split dimension and create a hell for another group of people? I mean if we are in the future and we are able to hit speeds ahead of light then time becomes just a resource controlled by anti-matter right? Guys? WHERE IS THE FUCKING SCIENCE IN SCIENCE FICTION? THIS IS JUST STUPID FUTURISTIC FANTASY!!


0:23 We begin with not Morgan Freeman’s voice over asking a rhetorical question about an awakening and not Denzel Washington dressed up as a storm trooper sweating in a desert looking panicked. I know no one knows what this is about and it would be just as corny as me to assume its stupid, but so far, its stupid. Right away getting the black character out there, we are living in a modernized futuristic fantasy world.


0:30 I’m sorry, but isn’t funny robot sounds something everyone made fun of Lucas for doing? This rolling ball robot just looks like a Taco Bell toy. Disney is behind this movie, so why wouldn’t they look for a cash grab, the question is why did Star Wars fans assume Abrams brought integrity to this project?


0:36 Saving Private Ryan meets Halo featuring Storm Troopers. Eh.


0:40 Hover Ski thing with no context driving away, I guess I shouldn’t deduct points for not giving away plot points in a trailer for a movie a year away but this reeks of ‘I filmed something cool’ so it was thrown in. Also can any girl in the future make an attempt at looking feminine or has gender identity been lost? In any Sci-fi movie does anything involving sexuality ever happen outside of Bruce Willis making out with Mila Jovovich while she is unconscious or standard Link/Zelda man saves woman roles? If not I’m thrilled my family is riddled with depression, heart disease and alcoholism. The future looks like it’s for dicks. Also, the way that thing flew looks like they just put it on a dolly and pushed it, Saturday Night Live has more believable driving green screen effects. It floated away like it was on wires.


0:45 X-Wings cruisin’ on the water skimming. More “look at what I filmed” porn. But at least this looked better, that last scene of someone driving something somewhere, That last flying jet ski looked like shit. I mean seriously, Back to the Future 2 had more believable hoverboard physics and that movie is 30 years old. This movie sucks. Everything is just flying/running/rolling away from something. I know a great evil is coming but this is redundant to the most redundant degree of redundancy.


0:55 Again, to put the fan boys on trial, wasn’t a huge criticism on Lucas that he just added a laser beam to the Light Saber and that was his idea to advance the movie franchise? Just add laser beams and characters to cash in on licensing video game and toy deals? Also how lame does that sword look? If I picked that sword up in Diablo I throw it away instantly. And what is the point of the light saber hilt? Completely non-functional as any light saber contact drawn down to the hilt would hit the emitter and not the actual laser thing. It would be sliced off instantly. So what is the purpose other than to get people to go “that is JJ Abrams’ innovative take on things”.

This is it? The new modernized revamp of what should be the world’s biggest movie franchise has added 2 laser beams? If Lucas did this people would be lining the streets to take his corny invention away from him. Fucking google how a sword works nerd. Why are there still no guns in the future? Explosions don’t kill Jedi’s? Grenades would just be laughed off? Missiles? They’d use ‘the force’ on them wouldn’t they? The future looks like a fucking nightmare. I hope I get killed the day before someone figures out how to make a space station a viable alternative to Earth.

Also where is this cloaked douche? A cold forest? Is he hunting Norweigian black metal fans? Is he out for a stroll and fears he will be attacked by someone in Saskatchewan? Why is he cloaked? His peripheral range is cut by like a 1/3rd. This movie sucks, I’ll never see it and I would turn down sex from a girl who had seen it. “Cloaked Guy walks alone in woods when he pulls out his Light Saber 3.0″. Oh good, that’s not the start of some reddit post on r/starwarsfanfic or something. Notice I don’t even wonder who the guy is, because whoever it turns out to be will be a let down for me.


1:00 Millenium Falcon (which means the nauseating return of earring free Harrison Ford in a franchise just for a cash grab.)


Seriously, look at that earring.


Ok look at this one too.

The guy is a clown. I hate Harrison Ford. I don’t care where that gets me with anyone reading this. The whole ‘Harrison Ford is a great actor” thing has gone on far enough. He’s a great movie star and a great physical actor but he carries expositional dialogue worse than any person considered to be great. He’s as good of an actor as Jason Statham, he’s actually worse because Statham has an accent and can do stunts. He delivers all his lines in the same tone, just louder. He couldn’t even be bothered to fake a fucking Russian accent for the duration of K-19 the Widowmaker. At some points in the movie he sounds vaguely European before just reverting back to being Harrison Ford again.


Harrison Ford Totally Freaked Out By David Blaine by SimplyJustRandomness

Watch this clip of him being moved by a magic trick in his house by David Blaine. Listen to him say “Nine of Hearts” thoroughly breathy and exasperated at the idea that the card could be in an orange? AN ORANGE? Listen for the ‘whoa’ at the end. He is an old befuddled man who is legitimately so detached from everything that could be called reality that he gets emotional over a fucking card trick. He gets flummoxed at the idea a card could be in a place he doesn’t expect while DAVID BLAINE is showing him a magic trick. Ps he has an earring in the video, and there are 4 visible bowls/baskets of produce, not to mention various cook books festooned as decoration. Harrison Ford is an asshole and he is wearing a nondescript t-shirt from Banana Republic. This is not the Youtube movie we were discussing but this one is actually much more interesting as you see the death of a celebrity in it.

As for the scene… you have seen this camera work on computer graphic animation before. You have. Everyone is just up in arms that it is attached to the name “Abrams” and “Star Wars”. Fifth Element did that shot with the taxi in the sky. Stealth did that shot. I honestly feel like Lord of the Rings did that shot and they don’t even have things that fly do they? Every movie with a space ship seems to have done that shot. Starship Troopers would’ve ironically done that shot in a satyrical way and people wouldn’t have gotten it. GI Joe did that shot every time something left the ground. It’s a canned formatted shot that I think you just have to edit in the vessel and the background to the template and you have 12 seconds that the audience can agree ‘is a thing’.

Also what is the over/under of close to surface flying in this movie? Based on a one minute trailer for what I assume to be a 138 minute movie, we’re looking at close to an hour of tower fly bys. Just none with the personality of Top Gun. Low altitude flying has become so ubiquitous to these movies at this point that I can’t even imagine the audience being thrilled by them. Does everything skim the surface? Will the Death Star? That actually would be cool to see. Maybe then it becomes the Technodrome? I can’t wait for Abram’s refreshing take on The Ninja Turtles franchise in 2017.

Now obviously this trailer wasn’t meant for me, I have actually gotten laid. As an agnostic viewer of movies this trailer doesn’t do anything for me, I don’t think it’s supposed to. I don’t know the mythology of the first movies well enough to get every nuance. I don’t remember anything from the second set other than Ewen McGregor was above everything he did and was surrounded by. This just seems like things you’ve seen in a thousand movies already. I am not predisposed to liking this movie and I guess that’s what really hurts. Its a party I’m not invited to, and I hope it burns down.

make-money-online

The Moneyline with WhiteDwain – NFL Week 13 Picks

*Follow WhiteDwain on Twitter @WhiteDwainTCH for links to previously posted plays and added plays thoughout the week*

 

Winner, winner….TURKEY DINNER?  Hopefully, you’ll be saying this for the third straight week.  After two weeks of profits…is it time to give thanks for White Dwain?  Time will tell.

 

Last week I provided you with another solid week.  Would’ve been great if not for the late Viking backdoor cover against my Pack.   The blow was lessened for me because now the Packers  are in sole position of the NFC North.

 

Thanksgiving is great for the food alone but we should be thankful for all the extra football on a Thursday.  Let’s take a look at my record and get to Week 13 Picks.

 

Last Week (Week 12): 5-2   +4.54 UNITS

(3-2 Line Bets & Hit Parlay and Tease) 

 Week 11: 6-1 on line bets, hit the Tease and missed the parlay for +7.4 UNITS

 Record since starting article:  12-4  +11.94 UNITS!!!

 My Current Year to Date Record:   64-43-1   +47.05 UNITS

 

3 Unit Plays: 13-6

Tease: 0-1

 

2 Unit Plays: 26-16-1

Tease: 3-5

2nd half: 1-0

Team Total: 2-1

 

1 Unit Plays: 25-21

Tease: 5-4

ML Parlay: 3-2

Team Total: 0-2

WEEK  13 PICKS

3 Unit Plays

 

Bears +7.5 (-120) @ Lions

Before you doubt all my advice because I’m trusting Cutler with a 3 unit play, hear me out…..okay, no matter what I say I can’t justify trusting Cutler but this is a divisional game and has big value in my system.  Also, the Lions are coached by Jim Caldwell and their offense is not that good.  Look for Forte to be heavily involved in the passing  game and the Bears put up enough to stay within the number and even pull off the upset

Prediction: 17-14

 Cowboys -3 (-115) vs Eagles

I don’t like betting against a Chip Kelly led team but he’s working with Sanchez on the road.  It’s still scary because I do think they can score on Dallas’ secondary.  Value in my system and I think that the Cowboys’ dominate O Line should continue dominating, giving Murray holes and Romo time.   Should be a Thanksgiving shootout.

Prediction: 33-24

 

2 Unit Plays

 

Steelers -4.5 (-110) vs Saints

For the same reason I bet against the Steelers a few weeks ago, I’m betting on them this week.  They play down to bad teams and get up for quality opponents, especially at home.  The Saints keep losing at home and their confidence should be shaken, even though they’re still in contention in the terrible NFC South.  The Steelers are right in the hunt for the division title.  Look for a big day from Bell and a lot of crying from Rob Ryan.

Prediction: 30-20

 

Vikings -2.5 (-115) @ Broncos

Coach Zimmer, expectedly, has brought defensive toughness back to the Vikings.  Bridgewater is getting more experience by the week and TE Kyle Rudolph is getting back into game shape and gives him another weapon.  Carolina’s D has been a shell of itself and Sham is playing like Clark Kent.   (I think he should mimic   taking a cape off when he makes a dumb throw…that could take a while cause he does it often).

Prediction: 27-17

 1 Unit Plays

49ers PK (-110) vs Seahawks

I’ll be honest…my system predicted a score of 19-19 so there’s no value to the even line.  This is more of a gut play.  Seattle on the road and  SF keeps finding a way to win.

 

TEASER

10 pt/ 5 teams

Bears +17.5, 49ers +10, Colts -.5, Giants +7.5, Cardinals +7.5

Pays 1.72 to 1

MONEYLINE PARLAY

Texans, Ravens, Rams, Dolphins

Pays 2.32 to 1

 * For tracking purposes, all teaser and parlays will be 1 Unit Plays.

 

 

billyheader

AlternaPodcast: Billy the Pyro

Brad Burdick stops by to share his Alterna Comic Billy the Pyro. He is currently crowd-funding the first collected volume containing issues #1-4. Another labor of love from a great indie creator that not only needs your attention but also wants your help in raising awareness.

Go Fund the Kickstarter!.
Follow Brad on Twitter @brad_burdick.
Follow Tim on Twitter @thinblueghost.
Follow AlternaPodcast on Twitter @alternapodcast.
Download Billy the Pyro at Comixology.

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raw

The Morning After Raw for November 24, 2014

‘A New Day’

So last night overall was a good time. Sting even finally showed up, forever putting an end to the question ‘how old will Sting look when he debuts?’ The answer is ‘very’. Joking aside last night was like a wet dream for Dolph fans, I’m not convinced it’s the prophecy of the next great WWE year long champion. But it’s something. I guess. It’s been 2+ years since Dolph had something so maybe I should suck farts out of my own ass. Raw is live from Indiana and I’m hopeful.

The night starts out with Triple H and Stephanie coming out and this starts the chasm in my life where these two once were. I guess Rollins, Wyatt and Big Show will have to do as the company’s top heels. I could cry. Triple H proceeds to launch into a Colonel Nathan Jessup like diatribe about how the WWE audience needs him, down to the ‘The Authority’s existence while seemingly grotesque and incomprehensible to you’. I mean it is certainly influenced but at least it’s inspired enjoyable to sit through.

Daniel Bryan’s music hits and though he is here to talk, and not wrestle; I can’t help but feel happy seeing him. In the very least he doesn’t have a Paul Orndorff arm. Bryan picks up a mic and does very little with it, but fuck it he’s here. Bryan apparently is here to run the show tonight as a guest gm or something. Bryan calls out Team Authority to make a series of matches. Cena and Ziggler vs Rollins and Mercury and Noble. Hopefully Noble doesn’t get broken on the floor by Sheamus again.

Bryan changes Kane’s title to Director of Food and Beverage, not sure why this is a knock, this was Sam Rothstein’s title in Casino. That actually worked out for him really well. Rusev is made to say the pledge of allegiance or be in a battle royal. Harper is made to defend his title against Ambrose, his facial expression doesn’t change, ok then. Finally, Henry is made to have a match against ‘The Ryback’. All in all Bryan did pretty ok, maybe I’m just happy to see him. It’s great to have extended promos starting Raw again. Less wrestling = more smiling.

Ryback vs Mark Henry

Meathook Clothesline 123. That was a squash, all right.

Intercontinental Title Match
Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper (c)

So how long until Wyatt interferes? Luke Harper’s facial expressions are the best part of the night so far. It takes about 10 minutes for the crowd to wake up. That sucks, but by the time they come around they’re involved in a very enjoyable match. Ambrose won’t give up on this Elbow Drop to a standing opponent thing huh? Ambrose pushed into ref, match is thrown out. Ref is sensitive.

After the match Dirty Deeds onto a chair. Wyatt finally jumps Ambrose burying him in a pile of chairs(what?) as he is getting a ladder and table. Ambrose’s grass roots campaign to promote TLC is pretty intense.

A New Day promo just as the Ferguson verdict is being handed out. That’s tough.

Santino returns with Larry the Cable Guy and I can’t do this.

Tag Team Title Match
Dust Brothers vs Miz and Mizdow (c)

Mizdow is just adored. The only problem with Mizdow is this gives WWE creative an example to point to when people complain about being given shitty gimmicks and not being able to make it work. Fandango is beside himself. Mizdow is made to wrestle most of this match as Miz is on the outside selling a face injury or something. It takes several shots of him on the ground before the announcers even acknowledge it. Miz eventually blind tags in and gets the pin on Stardust. I wonder when Cody wins a Survivor Series as his team’s only surviving member.

Awful backstage comedy Kane segment. Sucks to see.

Rusev refuses to do the Pledge of Allegiance, Bryan enlists help and we get Sgt Slaughter screaming at Rusev and Lana. Rusev eventually gets physical and Swagger comes down and we have this feud again! Yay!

More Kane. More attempts at comedy. All poison.

Fandango w/Rosa vs Justin Gabriel

Finally, Fandango gets rid of his theme. Which could very well have been the only thing that was over from his last gimmick. Johnny Curtis is loaded with talent, I don’t think Macho could get this gimmick over. Leg Drop 123.

Big Show out next to hold a microphone(and a gun to the program’s head)and this sucks. Show pleads for sympathy from the crowd for what seems like an eternity. Big Show blubbering for forgiveness isn’t helping the abject disaster that has been the integrity of his character over the years. Rowan eventually comes down and beats up Big Show and chases him off.

AJ vs Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella

So Brie is a heel now. That seems rash considering the last couple months. CM Punk chant, god I hate the WWE audience. AJ loses after twinterference.

Larry the Cable Guy joins commentary to call a match involving Adam Rose and his rabbit…no.

John Cena and Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins, Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble

Can Noble wrestle? Seriously? Isn’t his back supposed to be a disaster now? Noble and Mercury get beaten up before Noble takes a Zig Zag and an AA on Mercury 123.

Rollins backs up the ramp only to be thrown in the ring by Bryan and he eats an AA for the happy ending.

The return of the Anonymous General Manager ends Raw with a reincarnation. I guess no one remembers how unendingly bad this was. No one noticed the podium on commentary? Are we supposed to believe Cole JBL and King just beer happened to glance to their peripheral left? It’s at like 10 o’clock. If you’re going to bring out a podium make sure it’s Bad News Barrett’s.

Tonight’s Haiku
Magic Podium?
Anonymous GM huh?
Fucking Hornswoggle?

Spot of the Night
Dirty Deeds onto steel chair

The Good and The Bad

Good
1
Bryan
2 Ambrose vs Harper
3 Swagger is back

Bad
1
Larry the Cable Guy
2 Return of Anonymous GM
3 Big Show

layla

The Morning After WWE Survivor Series

Okay so maybe the joke is on me. Maybe I fell for the idea that A pay-per-view which the WWE would be watching that work off of would’ve been a bigger deal than what we saw on Monday night. Then again if you look at rumors online Sting is here, Reigns is here and there’s always the Hogan possibility. Orton is supposedly in town too, but he lives in St Louis and it’s Thanksgiving weekend so I’m not sure how this is relevant. WWE needs to be great tonight, they’re trying to convince everyone to pay $9.99 it has to be. Survivor Series is live from St Louis and it’s all hands on deck. Something big is going to happen tonight, it’s just a matter of ‘is it the stupidest thing ever’ or not.

Vince’s music hits and tonight just seems weird. Vince brings out The Authority and John Cena. HHH says ‘personably responsible’ in reference to Cena’s team. I guess this is in reference to how Cena stays on top of how his team dresses and shaves. Get it guys? He used the wrong word! Anyways, Vince reveals that if The Authority loses the only person who has the power to reinstate The Authority will be John Cena. That’s interesting. Mildly. I mean it’s certainly a point of interest in the plot. Anyways, if anything this further establishes how incredibly unimportant everyone who isn’t John Cena is on Team Cena really is, as this adds yet another stipulation in which Team Cena winning the match can be the only logical outcome.

WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal Fourway
The Usos vs Miz and Mizdow vs Los Matadores w/ El Torito vs The Dust Brothers (c)

Boy, is the tag division fucking shallow. JBL instantly points out how stupid a single fall Fatal Fourway is as why would you ever tag your team out making it so you can’t win? Anyways, the match is happening I guess so let’s discuss it. Miz is tagged in and the whole arena is now watching Mizdow and ignoring what’s going on in the ring. Miz teases a Mizdow tag. Stardust teases a Mizdow tag. I wonder if Los Matadores or The Usos will do it too just to hear the crowd make noise.

Miz is going to have to wrestle this whole match as no one in the crowd gives a shit about anything not involving Mizdow so it’s on him to keep them watching. Mizdow tags in, Goldust blind tags him out, this match is everything you saw on Monday night. Hot tag to fired up Usos. Superkick to Miz that missed by 3 feet. This is an entertaining match but it really doesn’t feel like anything. Usos dive. Stardust dive. El Torito dive? How is that legal? Does the ref not even consider him to be a person? Tower of Pain!!!!! Mizdow blind tags in 123. Miz celebrates with both titles. As much as I liked Gold and Stardust the titles stalled with them. I’d say let’s hope for more from the WWE Tag Titles, but I think I’ve said that the last 5 title changes now.

Survivor Series Elimination Divas Match
Summer Rae, Paige, Cameron and Layla vs Naomi, Emma, Alicia Fox and Natalya w/Tyson Kidd

Oh look, this. I’m still not sure why everyone says Emma is a great underutilized talent. I guess I didn’t need NXT to be better than the WWE in my head enough. Paige and Natalya have a lot of heavy lifting to do. I’m not saying her or Paige suck, but they need help from the other people in this match, and they aren’t finding any. Cameron tags in and I thought the audience was quiet before… they are silent now. Naomi tags in and…botch. Summer Rae run in. Botch. Natalya, botch. Jesus. Cameron finally is eliminated and I’m fucking shocked there isn’t a standing ovation.

Summer Rae does a Standing Splash onto Naomi’s arm. What did I just see? What was that? A Splash, on an arm? Why? What does that even do? The arm was flat on the ground? Who designed that move? What was the point of that? Layla gets eliminated and I don’t remember which team she is on. Summer Rae left in the match for long periods of time is a pretty bad idea, but the WWE needs to sell subscriptions so here we are. Summer eventually taps to Emma’s submission thing and now it’s Paige vs 4 and the only way to make the Internet community happy is for Paige to pin all four of these people at once and sell her match outfit online for $5k. Naomi hits two bad moves I hope she doesn’t consider a valuable part of her in ring product and Paige gets pinned I guess. 4-0 clean sweep for the faces. Ok. I have a feeling 3 Divas are looking at each other saying ‘weren’t we supposed to be eliminated?’

Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt

This is early on the card but it makes sense. This feud hasn’t been given enough time but in the defense of the WWE how could it have been? This is match one in a multiple match feud and its on the same PPV as The Authority vs Cena. I like this feud but it shouldn’t have the positioning to outshine the main event, at least not yet. This also puts the WWE in a weird position with this match. It’s the first match so you can’t have it steal the show, but at the same time this feud needs a big moment.

Brawling! We have brawling!! ‘Bray Wyatt is my Mother’ could be the most poorly conceived sign we’ve seen to date. Great seats too, what a waste of opportunity on a total idiot. Guys if you don’t have any ideas for a sign it’s ok to just not bring one. Crowd is very much alive for this match thus far. If Ambrose wants revenge for everyone who gets involved in his business and screws him over why is he trying roll up pins? Wyatt slams Ambrose back first onto the stairs and starts crying rolls out of the ring and gets a mic. Ok.

I am actually happy. The last thing a feud like this needs is a pin of one guy laying on another for 3 seconds. It needs to be unconventional to stand out right now. Wyatt screams to Ambrose that they could’ve run the WWE together and Ambrose threw it away. This is of course in reference to nothing. Seriously if Wyatt is allowed to say whatever he wants maybe it’s time to reel him back the fuck in and get him to make more fucking sense. Ambrose proceeds to have the match thrown out due to the addition of tables ladders and chairs. This is a long way to go for a TLC plug. Wait we have just under 2 hours left. Oh come on.

Backstage promo of Triple H inspiring the troops by threatening them. Why doesn’t he just wrestle if it’s so important?

Adam Rose and The Bunny vs Slater Gator

Who’s excited for the Bunny vs Rose blow off? This match was made in the back during a stupid toy commercial segment and when the challenge was laid down the crowd chanted ‘No!’. So here we are. Lawler sets up a joke about the guy dressed as a hot dog and 2 minutes later we get there. Awesome. I think the bunny just did the Honky Tonk Dance? Anyways the bunny wins. No blow off. Fuck your for thinking there could be one.

Roman Reigns interview segment. This could’ve waited until tomorrow. I’d like something important to happen. Reigns has some more catch phrases. Ok.

Backstage segment with Team Cena, Dolph says since day one him and Cena have been on the same page. Oh ok. I guess that 3 month feud was a joke.

WWE Divas Title Match
Nikki w/ Brie Bella vs AJ

Hasn’t it been 30 days yet? Why is Brie still her servant? Anyways the match never really starts and Brie kisses AJ(Vince could have written this)and she is immediately pinned by Nikki and I assume the Internet just shattered. I like this finish but I am shocked the WWE picked now to have a 4 second Diva title match.

Survivor Series Match
Team Cena (Rowan, Ziggler, Big Show, Ryback and Cena) vs Team Authority (Rollins, Kane, Henry, Rusev and Harper)

Lovely video package featuring Nickelback. Kane, still thoroughly terrifying as a heel in slacks. ‘Give me Dolph or give me Death’ sign. I guess someone here in St Louis is a big Patrick Henry fan. I feel like the WWE could have done a lot of good in explicitly telling its audience that Cena has been barred from ringside and that’s why he hadn’t run in during the beatdowns of his teammates. The WWE’s announcers talk for 5 hours a week and 8 this week, would it really be that hard for them to say this? Oh well. Guess not.

JBL: ‘Wouldn’t you want Rusev on your team?’
Lawler; ‘I’m not sure’
RINGING ENDORSEMENT BY LAWLER.

Cole makes mention of all the Superstars that The Authority have injured as of late. No mention of Swagger. I guess it’s my fault for expecting they should. Triple H fires up Mark Henry and send him out right into a WMD 123. Well. Ok. 4 on 5 it is. Now the WWE brass REALLY hates black people.

Kane is the director of operations? That’s a really deep fake title. Finally, a Cena vs Kane showdown in the main event involving multiple participants. Crowd is thoroughly into this match. Even Rowan gets a huge pop when he’s tagged in. Rusev hits a Standing Side Kick on Ryback after a Curb Stomping 123 and it’s 4 on 4. Did not see Ryback taking the first pin for Team Cena. Oh well.

Obligatory Big Show kick out on the smaller guy toss. Biggest Side Walk Slam ever on Ziggler, Bossman didn’t hit it as good as Harper does. Cole implies if the Authority wins that he and King could be fired. Oh? When was that discussed? Ziggler takes the beating from all 4 remaining competitors and I get worried that he actually won’t be winning the match after being down 1 to 4 and saving the WWE single handed. DDT on Rusev. AA on Harper. Chokeslam on Cena. Chokeslam on Kane. Diving Knee to Big Show. Are they doing the finish now? What is this? Rollins thrown to the outside by Rowan. Rusev Powerbombs Ziggler on top of everyone. Ziggler put on the table and why is Cole completely shocked by this? Every PPV the tables break and every time the set up starts Cole is beside himself that the table could possibly be used. Ziggler avoids a Splash and Rusev is counted out. Rusev avoids being pinned while still managing to be eliminated.

Rollins hits a Curb Stomp on Cena and Cole is screaming for someone who isn’t the legal man being involved in this match. I guess he missed the whole parade of finishers from earlier. Diving Knee on Rowan, Discus Clothesline by Harper 123. Rollins has been great in this match, as expected.

I know you guys won’t be expecting this, I know this is a big surprise, but shocker of the year, Big Show turns on Cena. WMD 123. Oh. Wow. Ziggler remains the last hope and maybe my dream will be coming true. Dolph vs Kane, Rollins and Harper. Cena walks to the back a beaten man, but tune in in 3 weeks for Lesnar vs Cena 5.

Superkick and Zig Zag on Kane 123. Kane lasted longer than Cena, Rusev and Ryback. What? Harper remains beating Ziggler up now, Superkick, Sitdown Powerbomb and after a Roll up 123

Rollins vs Ziggler with an imminent run in by Orton remaining. It’s like a wet dream. Powerbomb into the turnbuckle 1-2-kickout. Ziggler’s kickout game is elite tonight. A man who’s been pinned by has kicked out of 10 finishers tonight. Zig Zag 1-2- Triple H pulls the ref out, knocks him out and we have a beat down on Ziggler.

Mercury and Noble dispatched. Steph knocked off the apron onto Trips, so much for the her being pregnant rumor, either that or she is VERY dedicated. Curb Stomp reversed into a Zig Zag. 1 2 Triple H beats up another ref. Pedigree on Ziggler. Ref comes out and…

Sting. Cole and Lawler go crazy. JBL instantly goes to the script reading his accolades for whatever reason. Wow does he make this seem expected. Stare down between Sting and Triple H to a ‘this is awesome’ chant. Stare down lasts a roughly estimated 45 minutes until a Scorpion Death Drop on Trips. Sting proceeds to pull Ziggler on top of Rollins and I’m wondering if I wrote the script.

Can’t wait for the ‘Na Na Na-Na Hey Hey Goodbye’ song to be replaced.

Tonight’s Haiku
Hey guys look, it’s Sting
Ziggler, the lone survivor
I miss Steph and Trips

Spot of the night

The Good and the Bad
Good
1
Ziggler is God and everyone knows it
2 Sting doing Sting stuff
3 Nikki gets the belt

Bad
1
Diva’s elimination match
2 no more Steph in power
3 no more Trips in power

make-money-online

The Moneyline with WhiteDwain – NFL Week 12 Picks

*Follow WhiteDwain on Twitter @WhiteDwainTCH for links to previously posted plays and added plays thoughout the week*

 

First article luck?  Just continuing to build on a good run?  Who knows, but you should be following while the getting is good.

 

It would’ve been a perfect week last week if it wasn’t for the luckiest Super Bowl winning quarter back  of all time throwing 5 interceptions, including one in the end at the end of the game.  Also, Coach Coughlin opted to not kick a FG with plenty of time left that would’ve given us the Giants cover.  Sometimes you can be on the right side and still lose.  But this made everything all better….Gronk makes me love football more and I didn’t think that was possible.  If the Packers signed Gronk and Watt, I would abandon my current life/family and follow them “Dead Head” style and stories/rumors about my whereabouts and reasons would fill the ears of my loved ones.

 

efpkp

efp52

 

 

 

I did not appear on the “From The Cheap Seats” podcast this week.  The negative is that you didn’t get these picks on Tuesday, the bright side is that I didn’t have to hear straight up picks from the host’s girlfriend.  Next week just might be the debut of the “White Dwain Picks & Stuff”(not really the title)  podcast…maybe.

 

Week 12 is already off to a good start.  I tweeted out the Raiders +9 as a 1 Unit play and it covered easily with Oakland winning outright. I also gave out a winning parlay with Oakland and Kansas State +3 (won outright).  We won’t count that on the record but current streak is 8-1 (including teasers and parlays).

Last Week  6-1 on line bets, hit the Tease and missed the parlay for +7.4 UNITS

 This Week: 1-0

 My Current Year to Date Record:   59-41-1   +42.51 UNITS

 

3 Unit Plays: 12-5

Tease: 0-1

 

2 Unit Plays: 25-15-1

Tease: 3-5

2nd half: 1-0

Team Total: 2-1

 

1 Unit Plays: 22-21

Tease: 4-4

ML Parlay: 2-2

Team Total: 0-2

 WEEK  12 PICKS

 3 Unit Plays

Patriots -7 (-110) vs Lions

Bought the half point.  I’m confident in the game but I’ve learned that it’s better to cancel  a bet with a push than to  lose by a half point and in turn cause a chain reaction of over the top mood swings that lead to questionable decisions…at least that’s what I’ve heard.

If you read last weeks article (I’m sure you didn’t) I listed my reasoning on betting against the Lions.  Same thing this week but against an even better team at home.  The Patriots have that Patriot look to them right now.   Uber Brady, Uber Gronk, and the Hooded Genius clicking on all cylinders.  Second of back to back road games for the Lions and the Pats thirst for murdering opponents leads me to love the game.

Prediction: 30-17

Cardinals +7 (-115) @ Seahawks

I think the Seahawks are still getting Vegas and public love from last year.  There’s just something off with Seattle this year.  I’m sure it comes from their hippy wannabe coach but I always blame him cause he’s the worst.   Lynch isn’t happy there and it shows.  The Cardinals are just a complete team.  Everyone keeps expecting them to fall with Stanton under center but like I mentioned last week, this team isn’t built that way.  They have a great coach, great system, great Defense and more importantly…this team plays hard….all the time.

Prediction: 23-20

2 Unit Plays

Packers -10 (-110) @ Vikings

I’ll have to edit myself here because I could go on for days and pages for my love of the way the Pack is playing right now.  Rodgers looks unstoppable and moving Matthews to the inside seems to be paying immediate dividends.  Ten points in a road divisional game but I can’t keep myself from putting money on Rodgers  and the Pack versus a Bridgewater (wish he was an Indian) led Viking team.

Prediction: 33-20

Dolphins +7 (-115) @ Broncos

I might live to regret this because the line is currently +8 but at a crazy -145. That’s a lot of juice, so I gave up a point to get it down to -115. I may be crazy but I  really like this Miami team.  I’ve always been a believer in Tannehill (have you seen his girlfriend?) and he looks to have a hold of this offense.  I’m probably partial cause you can see a lot of Green Bay influence from Coach Philbin’s time in Green Bay.  They have the best pass defense and that’s exactly what you need against Peyton and the Broncos.  I think they’ll use Rams’ strategy from last week and be physical with the WRs the whole game. Keep them in front of you and make a big hit…every play.  Add the injuries to the Bronco’s weapons and I think the Phins have a shot at the upset.

Prediction: 20-23

 1 Unit Plays

Colts -14 (-110) vs Jags

If the trend holds for the Colts this year they should continue to blow out bad teams and they’re especially good at home.  If this trend continues, the Colts could be a great team to bet against in the playoffs cause they have struggled against good teams.  This is a lot of points but I justify it with my previous points.  It would be a 2 unit play but the loss of Bradshaw now leaves the backfield led by Trent Richardson.  Maybe I should stay away?

 

TEASER

10 pt/ 5 teams

Texans +9, Bears +4, Dolphins +18, Eagles -2.5, 49ers PK

Pays 1.72 to 1

MONEYLINE PARLAY

Patriots, Packers, Bears, Chargers, 49ers

Pays 2.95 to 1

 * For tracking purposes, all teaser and parlays will be 1 Unit Plays.

 

 

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