clay

NFL Soup Week 3

Hello everyone and welcome to the third installment of NFL Soup, and i am your chef serving it up hot and fresh. I hope that if you have read the previous additions you have been entertained and amused of the odd, yet funny views and quips i find across the internet pertaining to the NFL. So let us begin…..

Twitter produces many things I use for this article and Faux John Madden is a huge resource I tend to credit for things. This week he does not let me down by showing that Russell Wilson is a BEAST when it comes to playing the elite QBs of the NFL.

And sadly during his rookie year I traded him, not Josh Freeman, for Steven Jackson in my dynasty football league. I know I am a dumb ass lol.

Anytime a wrestling reference is used in the NFL it is a good thing, especially here at the SOUP. Drew Brees getting man handled by Captain Munnerlyn, and comparing it to a Hulk Hogan 1985 – style suplex leads me to think this might be the image we see in Dallas this coming week.

Sorry Jerry Jones, but if Drew ” HULKS UP” you are in trouble.

Ok everyone knows how Cam Newton is an high quality athlete and NFL QB, and every claims to be the “superman” of the NFL…..so why in the hell is he dressing like Lois Lane??? Or maybe he’s auditioning to be in the community play about the pilgrims and Thanksgiving

… CAM STOP!!!!!!!!

 

This was the live shot of Andy Reid entering the locker room after the Chiefs beat the Dolphins….. its doesn’t get much better than this i promise lol

Ok I spoke about Russell Wilson at the top of the article, but got to give some love to Steven Hauschka, i mean in the Super Bowl rematch this is how he prepares for overtime

Glitch in the Matrix time …. EVERY point scored in the Patriots and Raiders game was scored by a -KOWSKI

Ya know just Johnny Football’s Heisman sporting a ROLAX… no biggie

NFC West who has better fans???

Cardinals

or the 49ers

Speaking of the Cardinals and 49ers… the fan fight that broke out during the game  was brutal… if you don’t believe me see for yourself (thanks god neither of the 2 awesome fans above were involved)
http://youtu.be/AN6Bs7Emix4

 

Well folks that is about all i have for ya this week. So if you liked what ya read or have any comments, bitching, or something to offer feel free to shoot me a msg @turkoglu822 on twitter. Also do not forget to tune into myself and Jesse Starcher every Wednesday night 10pm EST over at Radulich in Broadcasting Network on Blogtalk radio to hear some obscure NFL talk and pick em as we explain the view of sports From the Cheap Seats. If you are on Facebook feel free to add the show’s fan page and drop us a line there

https://www.facebook.com/cheapseatsRIB

 

So until next time….. enjoy your SOUP!!!!!!!

raw

A Couple Days After WWE Raw for September 22, 2014

The night after an ok occurrence’

With last night’s mediocre PPV being a nice surprise of good wrestling and fair story telling it’s OH MY GOD MICHAEL COLE’S SUIT IS GORGEOUS. Black and Pink square patterned with a black accented pink dress shirt. Wow. This is worth me tuning in. Anyways yeah. With Hell in a Cell a month away we have a couple more weeks of boring ineffective television to kill before things line up for Survivor Series. Raw is live from Memphis Tennessee and Jerry Lawler is a bad commentator and worse wrestler.

Raw begins with Dean Ambrose, who is still apparently very much is a fringe. It’s fun to have Ambrose come out and talk first, he’s good at it and It’s a different voice than what we have become accustomed to over the years. I just wish he wasn’t relegated to being referred to as ‘crazy’ every 10 seconds. Dean calls out The Authority and Rollins to come get hit in the face with his fist, and of course, Cena answers. Yeah Cena. I guess it’s time for John to get.. ahem give a rub to the hot face of the month.

Cena and Ambrose agree to help each other achieve common goals and work together toJK they threaten each other and only when The Authority make an appearance do they decide to do something cool and randomly charge the ramp and punch people with their hands. Looks like we have a couple handicapped tag team matches coming up in our future! Raw main events writes themselves.

Holy shit Steph looks almost as good as Michael Cole’s suit.

Backstage fight, Rollins is running from Cena and Ambrose and these crossfit classes are really paying off! Rollins so concentrated on running he forgets to sell kicks and punches to his face and stomach. He eventually pushes some poor guy over(hilarious) and takes off in a rental car, in the process almost murdering Ambrose. Again. Serves that guy right for arriving while the show is going on. Anyways, it’s revealed that tonight we get Kane vs Ambrose and Cena vs Orton. I’d complain about Cena vs Orton but the only thing I’m more tired of is Cena vs Kane.

Intercontinental Title Rematch
Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz (c) w/Damien Mizdow

Of course Damien Mizdow has a cheap replica version of the IC belt. It’s the little things that make the moment. This gimmick couldn’t get any more fun. Miz and Ziggler have that weird chemistry in the ring that remind me of Cesaro and Cena, Bsrrett and Sheamus or Bryan and Orton. It’s when the two have such a weird anticipatory relationship where everything one guy does, even if by accident falls perfectly into what the other guy is trying to do. With Miz and Ziggler it probably stems from sitting in the back the last 4 years talking about why guys like Big Show and Sheamus we’re getting tv time in place of them. The match as expected is phenomenal. The only thing more interesting than this match is Sandow mimicking Miz from the outside, including pantomiming putting on the figure four complete with falling to the ground outside to lock it in. Give this man an Emmy.

The Miz is the perfect heel, no matter what happens he won’t get cheered. Ziggler gets cheered even in the city of the legend he almost murdered on live tv. RollUp by Miz reversed into RollUp by Ziggler. 123? Ok. Miz losing the title after a one day title reign is kind of repugnant and wishy washy. It’s not even the first time they’ve done this to him.This makes two times I question taking the belt off of him and further screamsthe complaint of WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH THE FUCKING MIDDLE CARD?

Jack Swagger w/Zeb Colter vs Bo Dallas

So, what is Swagger now? He’s a very good talent who has lost too much recently to matter in the near future? I still have hopes for Swagger but he really has nothing to push off on for traction to get better. I guess he has Zeb as a mouth piece but how long until the WWE looks at the books and realizes they’re paying a manager they don’t let talk for a glorified jobber they can’t make up their minds what to do with?

Summer Rae w/ Layla vs Natalie w/ Rosa Mendez

Finally a Total Divas tie in match. Ps apparently Summer Rae is a heel now, did that happen on Main Event? Did they just randomly decide it backstage with no story? Not complaining, I’m not even entirely sure I would notice. Oh yeah Layla is here. Weren’t the two of them Slayer? Really really bad promo by Summer Rae. Natalya eventually tries to put on a really bad SharpShooter and Summer taps out to what she mistakenly thinks is the hold. I wish that didn’t happen.

Kane vs Dean Ambrose

Is he medically cleared to wrestle? What was his concussion test results? Ambrose, who is dressed like he was just polishing Grease Lightning, has yet another pretty boring match with a trusted veteran. I’m not saying Ambrose is bad in the ring, I’m just saying his match against Del Rio and now against Kane have not been very interesting. Ambrose eventually hits Dirty Deeds on Kane with what could be Kane’s worst front bump of his illustrious career of taking horrible front bumps. Rollins breaks up the 3 count and we have another brawl around the ring.

Backstage fight, again, between Ambrose and Rollins. Ambrose is locked up in a dressing room by what looks to be obvious local worker wrestlers as WWE security. We made it a full week before someone was locked in a dressing room. Not bad!

Sheamus and The Usos vs Cesaro, Goldust and Stardust

Cole reads an out of context tweet by Stardust with zero explanation. The tweet, unexplained, obviously gets no reaction from Lawler or JBL and we are under way! So 5 minutes in there’s nothing to talk about other than the crowd being completely dead and Stardust being 100% committed to his character. Cole is on to reciting his 6th tweet of the match. I don’t blame Cole for this one. JBL and King are giving him absolutely nothing.

Cesaro blind tags in and grabs Sheamus’ ankles out from under him and he just free falls shoulder first into the mat from
About the height of the top rope. That was a brutal bump. Wow. What was he thinking? I’ll just plummet 8 feet onto my chest? Sheamus is a tough dude. It’s funny how boring the first 2/3rds of an Usos match can be until they get to the ending sequence. Keeping with tradition the people who just won the belt have to instantly lose because everything is stupid. Goldust takes the big Splash for a 3 count. Wow that Sheamus bump.

WWE 2K15 Trailer, Kid Rock? Really?

Mark Henry vs Rusev w/Lana

Mark Henry makes his way to the ring with a shamed face. Sad Mark Henry basically makes me want to die. As the audience ‘What?’s him I actually have figured out something I hate more than the CM Punk chant. Lana comes out and rubs salt in what could be the most painful wound I’ve had in wrestling since the last time I thought about where Fandango is. The scary thing about Henry selling a body injury is that it could easily be legit. Rusev holding Henry in a submission hold and yelling in Russian does not make for fascinating television. Rusev ultimately locks in the Accolade and Henry passes out and my life mean’s less.

Adam Rose and a Bunny vs SlaterGator

Oh look it got worse than the Total Divas match. I pray that there is no Shockmaster incident here revealing Sami Zayn to be The Bunny when it’s supposed to be Darren Young. If Zayn debuted under a bunny suit in a throw away feud between an irrelevant face no one cares about and a jobber tag team, I’ll be miserable.

Nikki Bella vs AJ Lee

Nikki had a promo before the match that I would never watch under any circumstances. Anyways. Paige is now on commentary. Oh. That’s too bad. She’s not very good at this. Nikki throws AJ into Paige and Paige gets up and does nothing. Thrilling.

AJ lasts over 30 seconds with a Cross Arm Bar locked in by Nikki. What is that about? Are her tendons fucking tensile steel? At least AJ remembers to sell it. Nikki taps to the Black Widow and it took 3 divas but we finally have a feud with personality.

John Cena vs Randy Orton w/Rollins and Kane

Sigh

I hate the way JBL smiles at the camera aimlessly. So the cinder blocks are back at ringside, this seems to me to make for a hazardous working experience. Actually it’s probably just Ambrose in a box, again. How does Cena work so well in jorts? Is he wearing a belt? What is going on? Anyways this match is ultimately boring and hat to get through. Cena throw into the steps, he does such a bad job doing this, but at least he doesn’t get hurt, Wade Barrett. He does it really bad though. I’m a staunch defender of Cena vs Orton but this match has nothing going for it.

DDT 1-2 kick out. Orton is completely beside himself that a guy who’s kicked out of his finisher 71 times kicked out of a DDT. Just struck in complete disbelief. Maybe Cena has a drawstring inside the shorts? Wait I swear I just saw a belt buckle. Please advise! STF and Kane and Rollins have hit the ring. They carry beat up Cena over to the box.

Box reveal, WHATS IN THE BOX?!? WHATS IN THE BOX?!?

Ambrose rushes out of the box and we have a brawl to finish Raw. Lesnar isn’t here is he guys? Rollins runs away while Kane eats an AA and the faces stand tall.

Tonight’s Haiku
Orton vs Cena
What is in the fucking box?
Raw wasn’t that bad

Spot of the Night
Sheamus bump

The Good and The Bad

Good
1
Miz vs Ziggler
2 Rusev keeps going
3 6 Man

Bad
1
Summer Rae vs Natalya
2 Orton vs Cena
3 Ambrose vs Kane

bannerfans_959862

The Morning After WWE Night of Champions 2014

Night of Champions

The definition of a hold over PPV. This practically is a WWE IN YOUR HOUSE. Which by the way is a terrible terrible name. Ziggler vs Wyatt is supposedly starting soon, Henry and Show vs Stardust and Goldust. Rusev vs Cena etc. so many interesting feuds to be launching soon it’s a shame we are left with this. I’ve enjoyed a couple of the build ups but wow is a lot missing. Roman Reigns had emergency surgery on a hernia and will miss action tonight. Which is too bad. WWE’s roster isn’t exactly the deepest it’s been in months. Night of Champions is live from Nashville and I missed the first hour. Sorry.

WWE Tag Team Title Match
Stardust and Goldust vs The Usos (c)

It’s time for the belt to come off The Usos and I’m here to celebrate it. I don’t dislike them by any means but it’s just time. The titles are in a rut and they’re not helping the situation at all. Lots of face paint in this match. Good for you guys! Lawler mentions that he was WWE tag team champion, Cole corrects him. Cole corrects Lawler about titles that he’s held. Come on Jerry. Try. Usos fly. It was very Uso Crazy if you were wondering.

Stardust hits a Lay Out Reverse DDT and I wonder if he forgot how to hit his own finisher. Has his entire move set changed? Crowd is surprisingly hot for this match and I appreciate it. Rolling Senton off the apron by Goldust, Plancha by an Uso in stereo. This is awesome. Roll up finish by Stardust and we have new champions and this is awesome. Very good match.

Ziggler promo about how much the belt means and how delicious Diet Mountain Dew is. I just hope the Wyatt feud rumors are true.

United Stated Championship
Cesaro vs Sheamus (c)

On one hand I don’t want Cesaro to lose, on the other hand this belt means nothing and it actually means he’ll probably get less tv time. Awesome conflict to have set up by the WWE. Our belt hurts your career! Anyways this match falls under my rule for Sheamus where he can have good matches as long as the guy isn’t too small and can take a beating. Cesaro certainly meets this requirement.

5 minutes in and this match has very little going for it. Sheamus isn’t even getting cheered and this is hardly what people would call a smark audience. Kind of weird that a match that’s consisted of 71 uncontested unprotected blows to the opponents temple isn’t translating to the live audience. The crowd openly groans when Sheamus kicks out on 2 counts. Explosion by Cesaro featuring a Double Underhook Suplex and an Inverted Samoan Drop. He’s trying. More clubbed blows. I guess the audience was getting too hot. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the finish and I’m not sure how I feel. I still don’t understand why Sheamus yells ‘FELLA!’.

Intercontinental Title Match
The Miz w/ Damien Mizdow vs Dolph Ziggler(c) w/R-Ziggler

Finally my favorite feud gets some serious tv time, with a country western band doing fucking guest commentary? I don’t know who Florida Georgia Line is, I don’t even know if I necessarily even dislike them, I just really don’t want them here. Especially not now. YOU’RE RUINING MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!! We even had an awesome video package showing the prestige of the IC Title an how much it’s meant over the years, and now people are talking over the match about their new single. Wow. This is upsetting as it gets. I was looking forward to this match the most and they’ve taken it from me. WHY DOES THE WWE ALWAYS DO THIS?!? Why do they stop the show just to give air time to some pseudo-celebrity? Who even cares? Who are these dicks? This guy can’t wear t-shirt?

The Spanish announce team looks even more slighted than they previously did.

Miz by the way completely dressed like Christopher Daniels now. After Sandow gets in the two musicians face they knock him over and R-Ziggler chases him off. So in effect, not only have these commentary guests ruin this for me, taking away the tension out of this match, they also now have taken away what could be my favorite on going thing in this company Damien Mizdow. There is no limit to how angry this makes me.

After that display of disgracefulness, the match settles down and the guest commentary jerk offs stop talking, this is like an apology, I’m not taking it. The WWE pissed all over my favorite match of the night and I won’t get over this anytime soon. Eventually after some good wrestling Ziggler gets distracted by the returned Sandow and pinned by Miz on a roll up. The commentary team repeats the phrase ‘we have a new champion’ in between constant references to a new album an single. Well all in all that was as insulting as it could be.

Seth Rollins promo to discuss the Roman Reigns injury. ‘Emergency surgery is no excuse for not showing up here tonight’ oh ok. Monster. Rollins has Reigns counted out, doesn’t the other wrestler have to be in the ring for a match to start? Rollins then issues an open challenge(I wonder where this is going)to anyone in the back. How can one guy be ‘a lunatic fringe’? One guy can be an entire fringe of society? Anyways, Ambrose comes back to a lovely reaction and the two of them fight around the arena. Eventually Steph and Trips lead out a security team and to the chorus of a ridiculous amount of boos Ambrose is led away in handcuffs. Apparently he’s under arrest for…

Moving on!

Mark Henry vs Rusev w/Lana

The National Anthem is played before the match and I always wonder if I should be standing for this at home. Is it bad I’m currently laying down? Is this disrespectful? Henry is crying. I love you Mark Henry. I love you.

Rusev looks big, big even next to Henry. This is an important test. more so than looking good in this match. Henry hits his the WSS but fails to cover Rusev and I guess this is just where we are at. Rusev has to win on his way up it would appear. I just want to hug Henry. I still have misguided dreams of another championship run despite he himself saying he couldn’t do it at his age. I’m already dreading the JBL ‘Mark Henry let America down’ heel commentary. Rusev lands a kick and puts Henry in the Accolade and as Henry taps I dream about running away with him like at the end of Shawshank.

Randy Orton vs Chris Jericho

Now this match has absolutely nothing going for it story wise but could still easily be the best match of the night. It’s so generic, heel worker 1 jumps face worker 2 in the back and now we have a match at a PPV. I’m not complaining though as I love both these guys and now that tonight has broken my heart I’m just hoping no one here gets hurt. Baseball slide by Jericho and Orton’s ankle smashes off the table and he yells ‘Oh Shit!’ and I’m concerned that my one wish won’t even happen. He seems ok but I’m still allowed to worry about my loved ones. Y2J thrown onto announce table and for 5 minutes I have to hear about Diet Mountain Dew. Which is basically like Neil DeGrasse Tyson in a bottle. Power Slam by Orton and it’s still so gorgeous that I write about it.

Jericho continues his trend of very good matches that unfortunately, no one really care about. Lionsault, still great as well. His matches are all enjoyable but for some reason it wasn’t until the cage match a couple Mondays ago that Jericho’s returns had any sort of impact. Orton mocks the crowd and gets booed pretty loudly with just a simple finger to the ear. That was straight out of Rick Rude’s play book. Fantastic work. Walls of Jericho locked in and after a good rope grab tease Orton gets out of it. This match is great. CodeBreaker 1-2-kick out. Match starts great and now to make it better we have false finishes!!! Jericho with a top rope Shoulder Block, jk, RKOutofnowhere. 123. Awesome. Too bad this wasn’t for the US title or something that would’ve seemed to matter more than just a ‘you beat me up because I was there’ feud. Whatever. Great match.

Divas Championship 3 Way Match
Nikki Bella vs AJ vs Paige (c)

Haha, 3 way.

Oh boy, the internet is going to die if Nikki wins. At least it seems like the title matters more if Nikki screwed her sister over in order to get a title shot. I mean I don’t care and no one noticed that but it’s a thing. Nikki and Paige bump chests to start the match up and this is certainly is goon to be a thing. ‘CM Punk’ chants, yeah sure guys. Nikki hits a couple of moves I haven’t seen her do before and it would appear that maybe she’s been working on some stuff. Cross Arm Breaker, 0 sell by Paige.

Paige really is the female Bret Hart. No sells submission holds and has no character. She just needs 2 catch phrases a more talented sibling and to become her own biggest fan. Which is impossible considering how the internet worships her. Nikki has quietly become a good wrestler with a strong move set, she is basically a more polished Charlotte from NXT. A lot has happened since I stopped paying attention to this division. DIVA TOWER OF PAIN!!!!!! Nikki takes a flip bump off of the ring apron onto the floor. Oh wow. Why’d she do that? Great bump. Ouch. Paige taps to the Black Widow and we have a new champion. Sure! I finally noticed a diva who isn’t Paige or AJ in a good way.

Why are the WWE trying to sell the network to the 5k people who ordered this PPV not through the network? They’ve moved past preaching to the choir. This is unheralded laziness and poor marketing.

Over half an hour for the main event? This reeks of shenanigans.

WWE Heavyweight Championship Match
John Cena vs Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman

‘The question on everyone’s mind, how long can John Cena last? How much offense can he get in?’ They really are setting John up as someone with no chance to win. AA, that was abrupt, 1-kick out? Really? That quickly? German #1. Ouch. There was a lot of impact there. Isn’t he supposed to be hurt? German #2. Ok yeah he’s hurt now. If he wasn’t really hurt before he’s definitely hurt now. Ouch. Slow motion replays of Lesnar Suplexes are pretty wild to see, there is no easy way to land on Germans. What an addition Slowmo has been to the production of PPVs and this could be the best use of them.

Lots of elbow strikes from Cena, which is kind of silly considering Lesnar has been hitting nothing but Suplexes and Kimuras. German #3. Not as bad as 1 or 2, still really bad. AA again!! 1-kick out. He almost got to 2 this time. Oh boy. STF, Lesnar reverses out nicely into a Kimura. Lesnar’s reversals always look believable because of how enormous he is. It’s just always like ‘yeah that makes sense’. You could park a car on his knee and if he got out of it you wouldn’t question your immersion in the moment. AA #3 into STF #2. This match is like when me and my friend would play each other in No Mercy with infinite specials on.

STF#3 Brock gets to the rope, Cena pulls him away STF #4. Lesnar to rope. This match is beautiful. I mean it’s stupid, but I love that it’s just one big false finish. Even more so than any HBK vs Undertaker match, shit both of them combined. AA #4 and 1-2

Hmm.

We have an outside party’s involvement.

Rollins involving himself makes me happy but here’s my problem with the network: U they have no reason to give you actual blow offs at PPVs anymore. They’re not PPVs, they’re just special Sunday TV events outside of Summer Slam, Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania.

Curb Stomp on Lesnar and Rollins is cashing in. I love this. It’s funny that the authoritative person on cashing in the MITB suitcase is Justin Roberts. Cena chases off Rollins before the bell rings and we do not have a match. That’s too bad. Would’ve been a nice ‘anything can happen at anytime’ moment in the WWE, oh well. F5 on Cena and Brock stands tall as we go off air. What an above average night considering expectations.

Tonight’s Haiku

Hated wrestling
Maybe it isn’t so bad,
Love you Mark Henry

Spot of the Night
Diva Tower of Pain

The Good and The Bad
Good
1
Orton vs Jericho
2 Usos vs Dust Bros
3 Lesnar vs Cena

Bad
1
the US title is meaningless
2 guest commentary
3 Cesaro losing

clay

NFL Soup Week 2

That rumbling in your stomach is the urge to be fed some NFL Soup and I’m back to serve it up hot and ready for you, my adoring fans ( yes all 3 of you guys lol ). Last week was the start of the 2014 year and i feel i was just a tad bit rusty, but i promise this week ill be a little more on my game and fulfill your thirst for the funniest NFL moments from week number 2.

Let us start off with the oddity of Michigan St QBs from this past week. Sunday was a nice effort for Spartan QBs as Kirk Cousins, Drew Stanton and Brian Hoyer all lined up under center. Truly i have no idea where i was going with that or what to even think lol.

Speaking of Kirk Cousins i received this picture from Redskins practice earlier this week, and I feel that all is well in Washington

Yet this just in Redskins fans

The hot topic of this week is that of AP whipping his kid and the consequences and after this past weeks showing vs the Pats

Fans were led to believe that the Vikings deactivated AP to avoid public back LASH ( i have puns lol) but in reality he was off filming a remake of a classic movie

gotta give credit to my friends at DFW for those pix… if you haven’t liked them on Facebook go do that now.

Gotta love the fact Mike Ditka dons his glasses on TV

though it is eerily familiar to fact he looks like the old guy from UP!

My question is…. WHO WEARS IT BETTER?!!?!?!?

Can you top the happiness in this picture of Jordy Nelson doing a Lambeau Leap into the arms of a fan wearing a Jordy Nelson jersey?!?!!? I think the happiness meter broke on this one

Well that about wraps this serving of NFL Soup up, hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoy bringing it to you each week. I don’t see the numbers and Gavin kinda is all “shadowy league figure” bout it so if you like this leave a comment of hit me up on twitter @Turkoglu822 and let me know what you think. And as always every Wednesday night at 10pm EST tune into the Radulich In Broadcasting Network to listen to myself and Jesse come to you live FROM THE CHEAP SEATS. Speaking of Jesse I will close out with a nod to him, i couldnt ask for a better co-host and friend so here is to you Jesse


It’s damn hard being a Browns fan, but a win over the Saints in the home opener helps easy this painful memory of former starting QBs in Cleveland lol

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